Gravity pulling down

Gravity pulling down as I lay;
below the queen-sized dewey grass,
above the milky white sky,
everywhere except for where I am.

Gazing up at the plasters stars on an 8-foot sky the shadows
move in and out,
too fast to see - only heard.

Let me melt, dissolve.

Gravity pulling down as I flow,
from this space to another.
Twinkling for just a second, then another shadow glides by.

Flowing through the icy blades, thoughts cutting into night
forging a path that is familiar and new. From this place I know,
I go.

Let me melt, dissolve.

Gravity pulling down as I fill one last red balloon, water one last bright-orange orchid, dance one last light-hearted dance. From this place I know, I go.
Into night.

Use the air, it's free

So, yesterday I unparked the Mazda after not having driven it for over a month. The front tires were a little low, so I went to a gas station a few miles away to fill them. When the tires had adequate pressure, I got back in the car to find it was completely dead. No sound whatsoever.

Moments later, a girl (ok, she was a diva-bi!&#) is tapping on my car saying, " 'scuse me... I need ta git some air... you needa move yur car!" I explain that the car is dead, and I'm trying to call AAA but she won't hear of it. She apparently thinks that I am actively trying to withhold the air pump. As if I had nothing better to do with my day that to sit in my dead car, in the heat, in a gas station parking lot in front of the air pump trying to negotiate with AAA.

Ok, so I'm not a AAA member, but before my trip to TN I received in the mail a membership application with a temporary membership card. It was a promotional mailing, and I kept the card thinking, "I may need to try to use this during my road trip." In all fairness, I did plan to become a member, I just didn't mail in the stuff. Therefore, AAA had a hard time finding my membership in their computer system. After 25 minutes on the phone with them, I convinced them to send someone out.

The mechanic was an interesting fellow; a totally nice Hispanic dude with metallic-blue contacts. He talked a little much, though, but was very thorough and friendly. I couldn't exactly tell if he was flirting with me or was a little slow. My battery had a sticker that said "AUG 2005" on it, to which he explained, "Well, your battery is 2 years old -- it's surely time to replace it." What he lacked in mathematical prowess, he made up for in military fervor. He had 2 more hours to work and then he was going to be off for 3 weeks. His eyes sparkled when he said he was going to Wyoming to "Shoot machine guns and blow things up."

It was, in fact, my battery that was dead. It wouldn't hold a charge, so this morning I put in a new battery.

Back in the O!

I'm back in Omaha, for a little while, at least. Trying to be somewhat productive. I definitely miss the family, and the mountains. The puppy is settling back into our old routine - I think she found my parents' house a little over-stimulating.

You probably know, I really love a good practical joke, and my older sister makes such a great target. After one of our river adventures, I went to her house and filled her shower head with cherry jello mix. I fit about half the packet in and waited somewhat patiently for the fall-out. I talked to her that night, and she didn't mention it. The following day, I knew that someone in her house had taken a shower by then, but again there was not mention of it. I finally asked if she had taken a shower in the last couple of days, and the gig was up. She couldn't figure out what had happened, though... she said the shower head gurgled but was stopped up. Then there was a sudden blast of blood-red water (she remembered some prophetical line about water turning to blood from church, or something). So, here's the funny part: The reason she never mentioned it is that she didn't think it was a joke at all. She just assumed that somehow her cranberry body wash found its way up into the plumbing.

So, I went on a really awesome date last night. Who knew that hummus and rodeo cheeseburgers and non-alcoholic sangria could co-exist peacefully?

And lastly, I want to give a "shout out" to all the under-appreciated deer and rabbits out there.

Summer Storm

Blue sky and cool breeze give way.

Night sky, teasing with its black clarity.

Full moon watching silently.

Two lone clouds venture ever nearer to one another,

trading the security of their solitute for contact in the night sky.

The oriole senses the mounting pressures as he leaves his perch and silently seeks cover.

First one drop, then another... slowly building, a hungry storm.

The eyes of only minutes earlier do not recognize this new sky,

yet climb to the surface to capture each fleeting flash.

Pinpricks of cool rain dance on skin,

rolling downward to the parched earth.

The Titans watch with their thunderous laughter.

Falling

Plummeting, ponderous and blinding

Yet from where you stand, I'm just a flash in the night sky.

The distance between us belies my size.

Seduced by a gravity I can't resist, I continue to fall

Burning through the atmosphere.

The heat I create forms a faint sparkle in your eye.

While others sit stationary, specks interrupting the blackness

I travel downward.

They have no arms to slow my fall.

The distance of many lives is traveled with my single fiery breath.

Will I burn up before I land?

Or am I already beside you on the cool grass, remembering the trip down?

Some Random TN Pics

So, I'm having a great time in TN. Today I had lunch with my friends from high school, Nicole and Philip, and their children. It was so totally aweseome to see them and meet their kids. It brought back so many memories... and it was nice to laugh about some of the completely dumb things I did in school. (Things never change!)

Another friend from HS who I haven't seen in way too many years called, and she's living a mile from where my parents and I are. Totally awesome! We are going to walk the dogs together and catch up... can't wait! If anyone else is still around and wants to hangout, please get in touch!

I thought I'd post some pics of some of my favorite places in TN. (Abrahm's Falls in Cades Cove, Caverns at The Lost Sea in Sweetwater, Cummins Mill Falls in Cookeville, Woods at the top of Mount LeConte, View from the top of Mount LeConte, Douglas Lake, Scenic Drive in Cades Cove, Waterfall at Crabapple Orchard)

Welcome back!

So, last night I was reminded that I have a blog. So I felt inspired... hence the poem. I guess a more informative post is in order.

I'm in TN visiting for an undecided length of time. It's ironic, while in Omaha I needed/wanted to go to TN. I've been having so much fun here, kinda rediscovering myself... but I'm feeling mysteriously pulled back to Omaha. I'm really dreading the stress of the upcoming move, but think it'll be very exciting, too.

My trip started out as I went to Greenwood, IN to pick up a new horn that Darin Sorley built for me. It's really quite amazing... if you're a horn player or you know a horn player, please check him out: www.sorleyhorns.com.

Then I drove through Kentucky and had the great pleasure of late-night Sonic with a wonderful friend who I miss greatly. It just happened coincidentally that we were both in KY simultaneously.

Just a couple of days in TN, I went to a restaurant to eat with my parents. The meal ended with me being harnessed (or hog-tied), put in a neck brace, on a back board and hoisted from my booth by a half-dozen paramedics... then ambulanced to UT Medical Center where I occupied on a gurney for way too long... then had a CT Scan while I thought I was really going to pee on myself (I was completely immobilized). Yeah, that rocked. It was a spectacle to say the least.

[Addendum: I initially omitted the cause of my injury. We were sitting at the first booth from the main entrance, with the hostess stand directly behing me. On top of the wall that served as the back of the booth where I was sitting, someone had placed the box that contained the electronic vibrator/pager devices that signal when a customer's table is ready. A tall blonde waiter had been goofing off and flirting with the two hostesses the entire time we were in the restaurant. During the second bite of my chicken sandwich, this waiter leaned against the wall. The large (and heavy) metal box came crashing down on my head. Ironically, the waiter's shirt said "I love my job"... too bad he won't be keeping it!]

I went tube-ing down the river last week with my older sister twice and had the most fun ever! My poor planning resulted in probably the worst sunburn I've probably ever had... which is now just starting to itch and peel. I think we may be going again in a couple of days.

I've bumped into a couple of old friends, which has brought a lot of mixed feelings. It's really nice to be back in the mountains in TN.

So... the dog. She had her first heat and it really, really sucked. I'll skip the details, as I'm assuming, dear reader, that you are acquainted with the birds and the bees. Now she's acting kinda weird when left alone. Firstly, I think she maybe having a "false pregnancy" which is not uncommon. I was quite vigilant keeping the gentlemen dogs away, and unless she climbed out the window one night while I was asleep, I think we're safe.

Secondly, she has been quite destructive when left alone in my parents' house. Mind you, she was totally mellow before, hadn't really chewed anything except her toys. The running list of puppy destruction is as follows:

• Bed Sheet
• Journal (fortunately, she left the brand new one I had just bought and devoured the almost full one!)
• Flip-flops (I really liked them a great deal. Dogs and shoes are cliche, glad to see she's living up to the K-9 stereotypes)
• Box of newspaper clippings and old school work that was stored under my bed.
• A bottle of multivitamins (a pleasant surprise of copious amounts of doggy-vomit when I returned home from a concert)
• Bed footboard
• Night Stand
• Seat of a weight bench
• Vinyl flooring

I'm hoping the list will stand as such without any necessary additions.

Villanelle/Haiku

Flowers high and bright

Wind sweeping their temptation

Where the skies are clear.

Cool on the green grass

Scales and forked tongues without speech.

What is it you fear?

Gulf coast sand and sun

and running dogs on the beach

Where the skies are clear.

Summer's endless drought

Vanquished by 3 P.M. rain.

What is it you fear?

Across the meadow,

East and West meet North and South.

Here the skies are clear.

Where are you going,

Six-foot one runaway bride?

What is it you fear?

Puppy Pictures

So, here are some long over-due pictures of Ginger.  She's now about 7 months old and about  75 pounds.  The pictures were taken during a trip to the dog park in Lincoln.  She's playing with a cute daschund named "Chachi" (he belongs to George, the photographer).    The last picture was of her first time in the water... she was to preoccupied with drinking to realize she could swim in it.

"The French Horn" by Jane Hirshfield

For a few days only,

the plum tree outside the window

shoulders perfection.

No matter the plums will be small,

eaten only by squirrels and jays.

I feast on the one thing, they on another,

the shoaling bees on a third.

What in this unpleated world isn’t someone’s seduction?

The boy playing his intricate horn in Mahler’s Fifth,

in the gaps between playing,

turns it and turns it, dismantles a section,

shakes from it the condensation

of human passage. He is perhaps twenty.

Later he takes his four bows, his face deepening red,

while a girl holds a viola’s spruce wood and maple

in one half-opened hand and looks at him hard.

Let others clap.

These two, their ears still ringing, hear nothing.

Not the shouts of bravo, bravo,

not the timpanic clamor inside their bodies.

As the plum’s blossoms do not hear the bee

nor taste themselves turned into storable honey

by that sumptuous disturbance.

Snow Blows!

It's Autumn.

Really, the title says it all.  We just had our first real snow.  I had forgotten how really charming the Omaha winter is.  The most depressing this is that it technically is still Autumn.  BAH!  

I have a broom.

I am sure my neighbors thought I was a retarded Southerner when they looked out their windows and saw me with my little broom sweeping the sidewalk and porch and car.  They have snow-blowers and snow shovels and other miscellaneous tools of arctic survival.   "I gots me a broom."

And a go-cart.  

I have always liked driving small cars.  I haven't needed a big SUV or pick-up truck to feel manly (besides, I'd need a whole fleet).  Small cars have better fuel economy and handle better. Why should you "get in" your car when you can "put on" you car?  But my car drives in the snow like a go cart.  It's like a cross between Mario Cart and sledding.   It would probably be scary if I could actually see the stuff I was sliding towards.  Isn't it handy that the defrost hardly works at all, so I'm slouched over looking through a small vision porthole that I maintain by rubbing my hand on the windshield?  Awesome.

And no hair. 

 I have been losing my hair basically since puberty.  I used to have the thickest, waviest, nappiest hair a white dude can have.  A buddy in college used to call it "Republican Hair."  HA!  I always hated my hair, and I guess it sensed the hostility because it began leaving.   I actually have never lost sleep about losing my hair.  It's just hair after all.  The best part: there's no indecision about hair cuts or styles.  So, why am I writing about this?  Because yesterday I realized that even thought I don't have too much hair, and not one single hair on my head is longer than 1/4"... it can still look CRAP-TASTIC when I take off my toboggan.   Isn't it kinda ridiculous to be balding AND have hat-hair?  Thanks, Winter.

And some fruit flavored rocks.

Yeah, so we went grocery shopping.  When we got back home, we forgot a bag of apples and bananas in the car.  In a hospitable climate, we could have just gotten them out of the car and eaten them.  Not here.  When we remembered them they had frozen solid and turned various shades of brown.  Cool.

And a beautfiful back yard.

"But the snow is so pretty," you say.  Or,"It's like living in a snow globe."  Better still: "What a beautiful winter wonderland." Here's a picture of my back yard.  It's awesome.

And and secret life.

 I googled myself today because a lady told me she had done "internet research" about me and I was wondering what that would reveal.  The second hit was titled "NHG Pornstar Database." The sixth hit was a 44y.o. professional boxer.  There was also a CEO of Union Square investment and an insurance agent.  Apparently there's also a "me" in Wassila, Alaska (the prestigious home of that Palin idiot) who drives poorly and rear-ends old women on the highway. I wonder which of these people the lady thought I was.

And I gotta go!

Three Men and a Little Lady

Remember that  movie?    Well, change the little lady to a puppy and subtract a man, and that's what life's been like for the last couple of months.

Ginger is sickeningly cute, and growing so fast.  She had her second vet visit yesterday for her third round of shots.  She's now 30 lbs. about about 18" tall at the shoulder.  I said I'd never buy clothes for a dog,  I even made fun of many an unfortunate pet that was clothed by it's owner.  Today I did it.  I bought Ginger a wool lined suede jacket.  There's something wrong with me.    I saw it while walking through a thrift store and had to buy it.  I'm not going to post pictures of her wearing it, though, because I think that would add insult to injury.

The last 2 months with a puppy have been fun, but challenging.  We've both locked ourselves out during middle-of-the-night trips outside.  We've cleaned up lots and lots of puppy poop and pee.  Two of my colleagues have young children, and I have a new-found sympathy for them.  I thought it'd be fun to do a puppy/baby comparison.

Puppy:  You have to walk outside in the cold, rain, or snow so it can poo, pee, or just frolic in the grass to frustrate you.

Baby: Poos and pees in diapers.  Needs frequent cleaning, but not terribly urgent if you don't mind that smell.

Puppy:  You can dump some food/water in a couple of bowls and proceed to scramble your eggs and brew coffee while it eats.

Baby: Best case scenario - you go to the fridge and get some recently pumped breast milk.  Worst case scenario - it hangs off your chest, chewing on your nipples until it's full.

Puppy: You can teach to fetch and retrieve.  Can get shoes, newspaper, find drugs and bombs, and even assist handicapped people (or are they still called "differently-abled"?)

Baby: Wait years and you might be able to convince it to do household chores.  It'll likely do them with little reliability and only when bribed with an allowance or under threat of punishment.  This arrangement will break down in the teenage years when it's no longer cool to help, be seen with, or even acknowledge the existence of mom and dad. 

Puppy: May scratch or bite you.  May destroy or eat any or all of the following: homework, shoes, phonebook, furniture, carpet, or landscaping.

Baby: May scratch or bite you.  May destroy or eat any or all of the following: homework, shoes, phonebook, furniture, carpet, or landscaping.   (when grown) Will never drive "safe enough" as far as you're concerned.  Will never raise their children the way you'd want them too.  Would likely not marry someone you deemed "good enough."  May not give your the grandchildren your really hoping for, or may give you grandchildren before they graduate high school.  

Puppy: Puppy class, clicker, unlimited supply of treats.

Baby: Preschool, public school or private?, PTA or PTO, school dances, bake sales, parent- teacher conferences.  Band, Dance, Cheer leading, Wrestling, Football, Soccer, and/or 4-H.  Prom, senior pictures, and graduation.  College, student loans, changing majors x times, graduate school.

SCORE

Puppy - 4

Baby - 1

In other news, I had to go to Wichita to fix a sink in my house that had been broken.  That sucked.  Funny part, however, was that the plastic bolts were completely stuck under the sink (I found that out after taking out the whole sink and trying to remove the faucet.)  They were completely immovable.  I didn't know of a better way to remove them, so Dr. Smith's amazing Swedish valve oil (T-2) came to the rescue.  He didn't invent it or anything, but he is a huge fan of it... it is really good stuff, after all.  I'm still waiting to see him on a late night TV infomercial (alla Ron Popeil) selling little bottles of the stuff for the LOW, LOW, PRICE OF $19.95. 

Anyway, I soaked the plastic bolts with the valve oil and set them on fire.  They melted and fell off.  Handy, huh?  Here's a picture of them all ablaze:

We are currently getting our first real snow.  I hate snow.  I also can't stand Nancy Grace.  Do you ever watch her show and wish it was her body the police were searching for?  ummm... yeah... me either.  

Another Picture

 I don't think I'll make this a habit.  For one reason, I should turn the computer off and be productive.  A better reason, because it's really hard to write in cursive with the touch pad and that darn little pencil thingy.    Anyway, here's another Audra picture revisited (oddly, it keeps the fishy them).  Aren't we all glad that we're both musicians and not visual artists?!?!

[Here's the original picture]

Elision Goes Country!!!

5/5 + Country music +5(festive costumes) =

I miss you guys!  Merry Christmas!!!

So my friend Audra draws these funny pictures to illustrate her blog.  I thought it would be funny to commemorate the return of these pictures in a recent post by taking one of them, editing it to completely change the scenario, and then posting it on my blog.  Here ya go:

[Here's the original picture]

Yeah, this is really what I've been doing instead of practicing, cleaning, or the myriad of things I should have gotten accomplished today.

Ginger Pictures

So it's been a while.   Here is a video and some pictures of Ginger.  If it looks like she's getting smaller, it's because the picture upload reversed the chronology of the pictures.  It's funny to notice how wide the collar looks on "little Ginger" compared to on "bigger Ginger."  She really got legs overnight!  One day she was a short, pudgy puppy, and the next she was tall and slender (why can't that happen to me?!?!)  I would never have thought a dog could grow this much in a month... sheer craziness!

Flattered, I'm sure.

"Even the bravest of us rarely has the courage for what he really knows..."  ~Friedrich Nietzsche
"The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously."  ~Hubert H. Humphrey


Hang on to my every word,cling to each letter and number.If ever the tides could stop, it's now.
Permit not your wide eyes to wander,not your disquieted heart put asunder,and imbibe that which you would allow.
Expect no tales of adventure,nor emotional quencher,and through Truth I'll not endeavor to plow.
Forget what you've heard,I'll carry on undeterred.Please don't let it wrinkle your brow.
~Me  

When Pigeons Attack

So, I'm lying in bed flipping through the TV channels before falling asleep.  I see Kathy Griffin doing stand-up and can't resist watching.  I think she's vulgar and tasteless and I LOVE HER!   Not to mention how hella-funny she is.  

A few minutes later, she pokes fun at an incident that happened back in Sept. 20, 2007.  OK, I guess I have been out of touch, since this is the first I've heard of it.  Apparently, the Miracle Theatre (billed as a "Christian theatre troupe"  back in my hometown of Pigeon Forge, TN) didn't approve of her Emmy acceptance speech.   In response the theatre placed a $90,440 ad in USA Today.  $90,440!!!  Isn't that a lot to spend just to set up another round of jokes from the very comedian that you're trying to chastise?   There are many things I miss about Sevier County, TN...  and I am reminded there are things I don't. 

Individuals and groups have "taken a stand" over lesser issues.  I think this is just funny because I am familiar with the community involved.    As far as the "Christian theatre troupe"... I am not saying the terminology is necessarily a non sequitur.    It seems a little to me like they may be trying to sell religion in the form of a flash-bang spectacle.  The miracle they seem to be forgetting about is "free speech".  

Besides, I know Pigeon Forge theatres.  There are many different theatres and shows in that small town, but they all have a few things in common.  The very same young men who are dressing as devils and saints, are wearing angels' wings and flying about above the stage, and are dancing and singing about the Word across an elaborately lit stage... well, lets just say on their days off they are practicing a different religion.

Here's a link to the ad:

 http://www.miracletheater.com/MiracleTheaterUSA3.pdf 

Vultures of the Dead Sea

So, I'm walking through the mall.  Suddenly through the crowd an Israeli woman grabs my hand and pulls me over to a cosmetics stand: Dead Sea Salts or something like that.  While I clearly indicated my lack of interest in her product(s), she explained what a wonderful gift her nail polishing blocks would make for my wife/fiancee/girlfriend.  (Sorry, dear, not really a selling point!)  She filed and polished my nail with extraordinary speed.  I was shocked at how quickly she rattled off her sales pitch in heavily accented English.  The real wonder was the blur of her hands, which would have made Houdini quite proud.   In mere seconds she had shined my right thumbnail to a ridiculous lustre.  She explained that it will stay extremely shiny for many weeks, and without traditional nail polish.  For the low price of $29.95 the kit (filing/buffing/polishing block, cleaning cloth, and essential oil) could be a perfect gift for my wife/fiancee/girlfriend.   

[Aside: What is an essential oil and exactly when did this vogue come about?  If I haven't needed such an oil for the last 27 years, it seems a little excessive to call it "essential" now.  Yes, I realize the base of the word comes from "essence," but is still seems to create a double entendre that only serves a marketing team.]

Indeed, my nail was VERY shiny for about a month and a half.   Just great.

Since then, I have viewed the sales people at the the little stands in the mall to be something of a plague.   Not all of them, mind you.  The AT&T guy may ask "What cell phone service do you have?" as your walking past, or the gentleman at the perfume/cologne stand may look up from his laptop as you walk by to exclaim of their "Buy one-get one free offer"... all innocuous, really. The very worst are those individuals that find it appropriate to thrust scented pillows in your face, slick odoriferous lotions on your hands, or polish one of your fingernails to a ridiculous level of luminosity.  

I actually have a friend who would hide on the other side of me when walking past these boundary-less sales people.   There has to be a way to regain control of one's shopping experience.

THE SOLUTION:

When you are approaching one of these sales people, their advances can be halted with a couple of simple steps.   One of the following suggestions may be enough to stop them in their tracks.  The most persistent among them, however, may warrant the use of several (or all) of the following suggestions (listed in order of severity).

• Cough gently into your hands
• Sniffle and casually touch your nose while making brief eye-contact with the sales person
• Sneeze into your hands (for added efficacy, double over while sneezing)
• Relieve an itchy nose by running you nose along your arm (from wrist to elbow and back)
• "Adjust yourself" or scratch yourself in an "unmentionable area". (I've never needed to escalate to this level.  Usually a casual cough or sneeze does the trick and they target another innocent passerby.)

[DISCLAIMER:  I offer this advice free of charge.  The author accepts no responsibility for any individual using these methods.  Please be aware that bystanders may view these actions to be exemplary of poor hygiene, poor health, or poor taste.)

Happy Halloween!

The Omaha Symphony's "Symphony Spooktacular" concert prompted many of the musicians to wear costumes.  There was even a costume competition, which upped the ante a little.  In the past I have used Halloween costumes as an outlet to voice political opinion (such as Satan W. Bush a couple of years ago and the Lame Duck last year).   I doubt there is anyone who isn't inundated with politics at the present time (CNN tells me it is 2 days and 4 hours until the first polls close).

[Aside: I think countdowns are ridiculous.  OK, I can deal with the last 10 seconds before the New Year, but beyond that, "No Thanks!"  Countdown to Election Day, countdown to first polls closing, countdown to Olympic Games opening ceremony, countdown to the New Millennium... maybe we should start keeping countdowns between countdowns.   What do you think: "Countdown to the start of the Summer Solstice Countdown."  Or even better, what don't we simply reverse our method of timekeeping?  Then our whole lives could be one giant countdown.  Talk about not living "in the moment".] 

As I was saying... instead of a politically charged Halloween costume, I decided to make something goofy and fun (and oddly appropriate for a symphony concert).  Here's a couple of pictures:

There were lots of really great costumes.  Among my favorites were a spot-on Sarah Palin "Global warming isn't our problem at all, it's just God trying to hug us a little closer" and a really awesome Wall-E costume.  Dorah the Explorah, Batman, and Indiana Jones also made appearances at the concert.   

Meet Ginger!

So, exactly 2 weeks ago we have drove down to pick up our new little puppy.  We named her "Ginger", and she is the cutest thing ever!   My original intent for the blog was to be able to post pictures of her for friends and family not in Omaha to be able to see her... but I have fallen short.  Here are a few pictures from the last couple of weeks.  When we first got her she was pretty tiny and only about 7 pounds.  I weighed her today and she's 13 pounds!  Her feet have already started to get kinda giant, too.

Here are her numbers (at 7 weeks old):

Head circumference - 15 inches, which is in the 78th percentile.

Weight - 13 lbs, 2 oz, which is in the 98th percentile.

Height - 11 inches, which is in the 90-95th percentile.

[DISCLAIMER: The statistical data above was constructed for satirical purposes only.  The author does not assert any claim to its accuracy or relevance to Great Dane growth and development.]